Jun 012013
 

I only have a little bit of energy to write this post, having just written 1300-ish words about all the smarter, funnier people I’ve stolen from in my writing career over on Triptych Type, but I did want to take a quick second to talk about today’s reveal of the — poorly named, but otherwise decent-seeming — Xbox One. Or more specifically Kotaku’s article about some posters on a Japanese message board’s reaction to the press conference.

First off: good job finding an angle to write about that hasn’t already been beaten into the ground, Kotaku’s Brian Ashcraft! I commend your journalistic integrity and credentials! I do, however, feel that maybe a bunch of nobodies on 2ch are maybe not the best place to go for a pull quote. I originally started writing this as soon as I saw this quote:

They’re totally not thinking of Japan…This is worse than the Xbox 360.

What a fantastic –if unsourced — quote to have in your article! And the fact that none of the other quotes are sourced either, well, WOW! And before you decide to get all high and mighty and tell me that “of course they’re not sourced, they’re from 2ch! It’s an anonymous board!” fuckin’ stow it. If its an anonymous board, maybe don’t use it as your single source for quotes before diving into a rambling, incoherent piece that can’t figure out what its position is. But I’ll gt to that in a minute; right now, I need to respond to the gentleman(?) quoted above: If you wanted Microsoft to think of Japan, maybe you should have bought either of their previous consoles. You can’t blame a company for deprecating a market that has ignored them so egregiously in the past. If you and your friends had bought the 360, and maybe more games than just Idolmaster, Microsoft might care more than a little bit whether or not you buy their system.

 

The other nickname is a continuation of the somewhat disparaging nickname for the Xbox 360, which is “Hako 0″ (箱0 or Hako Maru). “Hako” (箱) means “box”, and “maru” means “circle”. In Japanese, calling the console “hako” isn’t rude per se. It just doesn’t sound very cool! So, now Xbox One is also being called “Hako 1″ (箱1 is “Hako One” or “Hako Ichi”, with, of course, “ichi” being “one” in Japanese.) In an odd way, calling it “Hako 1″ makes sense, especially after the “Hako 0″ moniker. It makes more sense than going from “Xbox 360″ to “Xbox One”.

I’m not sure why I should care about any of this information, or why you thought it was a good idea to write it down in a place where I might find it, Kotaku’s Brian Ashcraft, but padding out an article with useless bullshit like this just looks bad. If you turned this article in as a college –or even high school — level paper, your teacher would cross this paragraph out so hard and so fast, you’d actually hear the red marker start on fire from the friction.

Like I said, I was originally going to be talking about the Japanese reaction to the announcement of a console that is — largely by their own doing — not for them. Then I decided that was a stupid idea, so I wrote about something else: specifically that Kotaku’s Brian Ashcraft should have realized that was a stupid idea, and maybe written about something else instead.

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